First Time Out of my Mind

Meditation Day 2 - I cut the cord

Again I laid on the floor and closed my eyes. In my mind, I was laying on the super comfy velvet daybed I'd created the day before. I put myself there, then sat up and put my feet on the cushy carpet.

I stood, walking to my crackling fire and held out my hands for it's warmth. Didn't really feel any actual warmth, but it was very cozy. Turning, I admired my plant and petted its glossy green leaves. I looked to the Koi fish turning in my fishbowl and he looked back at me. Not a fan of my fish, but thought perhaps he would grow on me. After all, I did put him there. Still. Creepy little f*cker.

Turning to the door, I walked over and really took a good look at it. Then, I put my hand on the knob and turned. There was a satisfying "click" and I swear I could feel it. Pushing the door open, I observed the door frame and the gap. I stepped through.

There was nothing. It was just dark. Well this is boring, I thought, there should be something here.

"A fountain" popped into my mind and immediately there was an enormous, round stone fountain and just as it occurred to me that there should be water, the most gloriously beautiful liquid began to flow. It absolutely stunned me. It was glowing, flowing, golden-silver like liquid starlight. Mesmerizing.

I just gawked for a minute, completely wowed at the beauty.

The Black Cable/Cord

Stepping towards it, I noticed something. Something ugly. There was a thick, black cable? cord? -like thing attached to me from behind, somehow. There was a brief sense of panic at the wrongness of the thing, as it was on me, WTAF? I had no idea where it even went to, it just trailed off into the blackness around me.

Calming down, I decided that I was in charge and that black cable had to go, but at first didn't know what to do with it.

What purpose did it serve? Nothing good, as far as I could tell. Still, I was new here and didn't want to mess anything up. A brilliant idea came to me:

I could remove the cord and then cap it off with some of the glowing water. That way, no one would be able to tell that I'd detached from it. Then, I'd just keep it there, trailing off into the blackness...maybe follow it to it's destination one day. Not today.

Seriously. That's what went through my mind.

And I did exactly that. I cut off the cord using my will, capped it with glowing energy because I wanted to, and the cord/cable is still laying there with a glowing cap on it, heading off to I-don't-know-where. I check on it every time I meditate. It's laying there, outside my door, not too far from my fountain.

The Starlight Fountain

After cutting the cord, I turned to my fountain, marveling at the radiance and beauty of the flowing liquid and going closer.

Hopping onto the edge, I looked down at the liquid pooled in the bottom and decided to step in. It came almost to my knees and didn't feel like much of anything, which was underwhelming. I could see my feet and wiggle my toes.

Moving to the center, where, typical fountain, there was the higher part that jetted the liquid up, down into a basin that allowed for spillover at various points around into the main basin below. As I mentioned, typical fountain.

Placing my hand and arm into the stream, I let it flow through my fingers, then decided to let it wash over me. Turning my back, like I was in a regular shower, I stepped back and let it wash over my head and whole body.

Suddenly, there was a feeling of relief and ease, when I didn't even realize I had been feeling weighed down. The weight lifted and the liquid drenched me, absorbing into my hair, pouring down my body. It felt amazing and energizing, but not "wet".

I decided to submerge myself, like in a bath, so moved to the main pool area and sat in the liquid, observing my legs underneath and then feeling myself leaning back, eyes closed, holding my breath as I went under.

Laying there for a moment I didn't feel much of anything, so I opened my eyes and could see clearly through the liquid, which somehow coated my eyes in its glow.

Deciding that since I was not actually in any danger of drowning, because I was, after all, just thinking all this up, it was ridiculous to hold my breath (even more ridiculous, I hadn't been consciously "breathing" before I held my breath, so...not sure how that even works).

I inhaled starlight and it went through my entire body. With an absolute joyful zing of energy, I got up and realized that physical limits did not apply here. I began to fly and cavort in the space around my fountain, doing twirls and flips in the air. I cannot even tell you how much fun that is.

Deciding to see how high I could go, I shot straight up and, next thing I knew, I was literally in outer space with the universe all around me, galaxies, stars, everything. I had become sort of a comet of a being and was absolutely euphoric, looking around for where to explore when I suddenly had a worry, as I looked towards where I had come from.

How would I get back? Did I want to go back? What if I couldn't get back? I felt I could stay a Comet Being here and go on forever, if I so chose, and that seemed like a great thing. But what would become of the body I left?

Thoughts of my kids popped into my head. I loved them so, I couldn't leave like that. Looking around, I decided that maybe I could come back whenever I wanted. After all, I'd gotten here and I could come back.

So I began to retract and minimize myself (I guess I'd gotten big?), kind of like a genie going back into a lamp, until I was back by my fountain.

Going back through my door, into my room, I opened my eyes.

Over an hour had passed.